On my way...

Seana is taking me to Ariel. I have never been there, but Aurora was there. Probably some people will recognize me, and so I will have to be ready for that. I don't know how she is going to explain that I am so little again, I must have been about like a six year old last time I was here. But, there are all kinds of conditions that change people, so she will probably say I got one of those, but am fine now.

I miss Miss V and my sister, and all my sisters, but it was not safe for them for me to be there. Maybe it will be safe after ..well, later on. But I miss the stories from them, and I miss the cookies. I miss the creatures from under the sea and all the things I was not supposed to see. Now, they are in me and I know them. Still, I miss them. 'specially Mister Beef.



I am fine. Except for one thing. I need to be with Lily. I really do need to be with Lily. Only I can't because of the Ardra. It is looking for a perfect permanent home, and I know that the only such place for it right now is..with me. Only, I'm not ready. I'm not nearly mature enough physically, and I haven't really learned enough of the organic ways. If I took her on now, I would be dominated by the machine, or by the one who controls the machine.

So I have just been hiding - sometimes with the old man, Tarlek, but most of the times down in the mines. Tarlek is an interesting man, he doesn't say much to most people. But, when I lay my head on his chest and listen to his heart, I feel comforted. I have seen the bracelet he gave to Lily. I have seen her polish it and treasure it and kiss it goodnight. She likes bracelets. She has one from Krenshar, actually. That one, she never takes off.

Lily has made a place for us, well, for me and also for Ardra, but I don't think she knows she's doing it. First, the safety house, with secret walls and all my things, and then that old Firefly she drug in. It has enough power to hold Ardra probably forever. But it's not right. Ardra needs a body of her own to live in. Miss x0x0 said she had a way to help make that happen, but then Gallagher and Lily blew up something (as usual). Now the way is broken, and she is waiting for her brother to wake up and fix it.

I feel sad for him. He doesn't know it but he is going to end soon. Of course, they are all ending from the day they are born, but in his case, it makes me more sad because I never really got to know him. He is, after all, my Grandpa, and the stories he was supposed to tell me about his work and the Reavers and his life...I will lose all that when he ends.

I'm not even allowed to see him, so I can't ask him to record it all for me. Maybe he already has, I don't know. But I am still sad, because without him I would never have been, and everyone hates him. Seana probably hates him most of all, even though without him she would not be my..well, what is she technically? More mother than grandmother, although her being Lily's adopted mom and all, makes her my grandmother more than the material Mindo used from her makes her my mother.

It is true, in the mothering sense of the word, that only Seana's genetic material, in physical form, was used in my preparation. I wonder if she ever thinks about that. The traits of the others were programmed in the "other" aspect of me. I know a song from Earth the Was, called "best of both worlds", and that is how I feel, usually.

Still, the fact remains, I am AuroraBlue. I am the child of Krenshar, and Lily. I am the child of Mindo and Seana. I am the child of Imrhien and Td. I am the child of Glaze and Ben. I call Nack and Lauralai my mother and father. I am the offspring of Kari, and of Lorie. I spring from Duncan and Gabe and Emma and everyone else Mindo took from to create what he thought would be the perfect example of what he could do. I am a child of the 'Verse.

The problem is, along with the best, there is usually a worst. When I made them destroy Aurora, they destroyed the worst as far as the shell, but now, everything is all together. And I don't know what happens next. I hope I have prepared correctly. My legs and arms hurt. They are growing. I don't look like a baby, much. I am more older now, like looking 3 or 4. They say I look just like my photos from when I was...born. Well, Gallagher says it. He was there. I am looking forward to seeing Grandma and Grandpapa in Ariel. I hope they understand.

I am AuroraBlue. I am the greatest warrior that ever lived. And I am looking for the one who can claim me, for even dragons desire to be connected. Even tiny dragons cry.